i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
