I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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