You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
