let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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