I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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