Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Who died my cat blue again?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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