So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
