Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
True strength comes from lack of pants
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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