Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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