this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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