Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
