its not stalking. its research.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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