So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
