It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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