we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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