what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
pop tarts are not kleenex
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
