the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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