if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
