So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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