i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
