there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My life is pants optional.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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