It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
