Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
