"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
