yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
