K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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