No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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