Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
