This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
