you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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