Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
