im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You pole danced in your parka.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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