I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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