I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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