I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
