I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
