Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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