I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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