I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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