i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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