Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I would fuck him just for his dog
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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