I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
