if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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