I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We had sex on a dog bed..
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
