ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
