My hair reeks of homosexuality.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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