So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
