is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
