she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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