Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
