Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
