who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
